Changing the Rules
by Quinndolynn
Summary: Parallel story to the TeyKay fic Caffeinated This story is from the shepWeir perspective. As Sheppard plays matchmaker with Mckay his relationship with Elizabeth is complicated.
1. Decaf

Summ: this goes with our story "Caffeinated" which tells exactly the same events, but from a TeyKay perspective. This is ShepWeir perspective. Read both for full effect.

Sheppard rolled over in his sleep. He heard muffled thumping and cursing from the hallway. Somewhere down the corridor a light flickered on then off again. Muffled footsteps padded downstairs again.

Sheppard groaned. McKay. Did that man not know the meaning of the word decaffeinated? There were people who were trying to sleep for crying out loud! He pulled his pillow over his head and went back to sleep.

Some minutes or hours later the muffled thumps were back, this time much closer and accompanied by Beckett's signature Scottish accent. Sheppard shook himself slightly more awake. If McKay had involved the doctor something could be wrong. He staggered down the hall to McKay's room. Oh geez, it was too early for this. He checked his watch. Three in the morning! He poked his head round the doorframe.

"It is three in the morning," he told them. Why did smart people never sleep? From the short time he'd spent at the SGC, he had gathered that Colonel Carter was famous for pulling all-nighters as well. He stifled a yawn. "Explain yourselves." He ordered before noticing Teyla stretched on the floor.

"Why is Teyla lying on the floor of McKay's room?" he asked, confusedly. McKay began stammering an explanation. Sheppard turned to the slightly saner doctor.

"Do I want to know the answer to that question?" he asked, knowing the answer was probably no.

"He drugged her!" the doctor sputtered. Had Sheppard called him the saner one? His mistake. McKay began speaking over him. Sheppard felt a migraine tug at the corner of his eyes.

"Children, am I going to have to separate you?" he groaned. They subsided momentarily. Much better. "We need to get her to the infirmary." He yawned, "I'll wake Weir." He left before they could start again.

Shuffling back down the hall he paused before Weir's door. Did he really want to wake her? She was under enough stress as it was. Still, if she found out that she hadn't been woken for the current crisis, she'd be very pissed, and more and more frequently Sheppard found himself to be the one she was pissed at. It was really a choice between being yelled at now or later. He winced and rapped on the door.

"Wakey, wakey Dr. Weir..." he called softly through the door.

It swung open to reveal a disheveled and exhausted Dr. Weir. On one side of her head, her hair had been pushed back so that it stood up on end. He stared in surprise. Their fearless leader looked a lot less threatening in pajamas.

"Sheppard? What is it?" Weir asked, shoving a clump of hair out of her eyes.

"It's...uh...Teyla," he managed, "McKay gave her something." His mind was still reeling from lack of sleep and the way Elizabeth looked so much more fragile at three in the morning. Sometime between this and the time Atlantis normally awoke the circles under her eyes must disappear.

She sighed and scrubbed her hand across her eyes.

"Right I'm coming, just give me sec to get dressed," she said, closing the door. It paused. "Watch your fingers." He jumped back and the door snapped shut in his face. A few moments later Weir appeared. Her hair was neat, her clothes tidy, and the circles under her eyes were gone.

"Let's see what our resident genius has done this time," she sighed, leading the way back down the hall. Sheppard followed, self-consciously tugging at his own rather shabby pajamas.

A/N! This was Splorchy's idea. (Now she's all includified) I think I've written most of this, but mucho credz to my fellow writers. Except for Aiylithe who I fully blame for making me wind up ankle deep in sewer water-Quinnie

Splorchy: We went in a tunnel, and A pushed Q... We're all variables in this funny game called life. Anyways, all the events in one story will be in another, even if it's just "Teyla sees Sheppard OMG." Yes, I am includified, even if I haven't seen a whole bunch of Atlantis (and even less of SG-1) episodes. Take pity.

Aiylithe: Okay, entirely not my fault. Just because I didn't get wet doesn't mean they can blame their mistakes on me. I'm glad I didn't get wet, I'm the only one who is concerned at all with staying dry, it seems! Darn my hydrophobia! Oh, and we are showing Splorchy a few good episodes of SG-1! I love having the first four seasons on DVD!


	2. Workaholic Weir

The situation hadn't changed by the time Sheppard returned with Weir. Taking a deep breath she squared her shoulders to help Beckett carry Teyla to the infirmary, refusing his offer to wake one of the medical personnel.

"Let them sleep," she said, with only the faintest hint of irony. Sheppard was positive that she was close to dropping from exhaustion. He tried to point out that they only needed one person in the infirmary because of sleep deprivation, but she brushed him off.

"I, for one, am going back to bed," Sheppard announced, shooting a hopeful glance at Weir, once they'd determined that Teyla was going to be fine.

She avoided his gaze and mumbled something barely coherent about getting more work done. Beckett disappeared, and McKay settled down in a chair next to Teyla's bed. Weir made her way to her office, unaware that the major was following behind. She turned the corner and began to pull the door open when she saw Sheppard out of the corner of her eye. Weir turned to face him, her irritation showing on her suddenly tired face.

"Why are you following me, Major?" She crossed her arms and looked at him sternly, reminding him of a girlfriend he'd had as a teenager. Ah, those were the days, he thought.

"Major?" asked Weir irritably, bringing him back down to Atlantis. "Did you want something?"

"I want you to go to bed."

She blinked at him.

Oh crap.

"You're working too hard," he added hastily.

"Go to bed, major," Elizabeth said wearily, "It's past your bedtime."

Sheppard was stunned for a moment, his sluggish mind trying to think of a good retaliation. He finally stood up a bit straighter and opened his mouth to say something, but the words never came. He coughed, turned around and quickly began to walk away.

"Hold on, John, I'm sorry," She said, her tone a little softer. He stopped. "It's nice of you to be concerned, but please, you should go to bed."

Sheppard wheeled around to face her. He had finally thought of something to say. "Yes, mother, of course." He smiled, mentally kicking himself at the same time for being mean to her after she had apologized. Too late, he saw from her face, she was angry again.

"If you had even _tried_ to do some of the work around here, you would understand why I'm irritable," Her voice had gotten quite a bit louder, "It's all the same with you military officers, you kill a few bad guys, and think that puts you above everyone else."

God, she must be tired, Sheppard thought to himself. He had never heard her say 'bad guys' before. "Look," he said, his voice getting louder as well, "Its three, no four in the morning," he said, looking at his watch, "The officers on duty for the past two months have reported that you've been up all night at least twice a week. You're turning into a workaholic! You can't keep this up."

Weir nodded slowly. "You're right, I'm sorry. It's just that I have a lot to do." She turned to open the door to her office.

Sheppard stepped forward and held the door shut. "You are going to bed," he said quietly.

Weir couldn't help noticing that he accented the 'are' trying to leave no room for argument. But he wouldn't get away that easily. Weir reached up and moved his hand away, then turned the knob and opened the door all the way. "Look, I have to work! Maybe you don't, but I do." She shouted at him, making him step back.

"Fine," he said, noticing how good she looked when she was angry. He turned around again, then turned back, for one last attempt at peace-making. "At least let me get you a cup of coffee, or something," he offered.

"Coffee is what started this whole mess, Major." She said, her anger clearly showing in her suddenly quiet tone. She walked into her office and turned around to close the door. "Goodnight." She said loudly, and slammed the door, this time not caring about his fingers.

"'Night," Sheppard said, gazing at the door for a while before walking away slowly.

This was written mostly by Aiylithe. Didn't she do a great job? Review and tell her so! If you want to find out what happens next, review! If you're desperate to find out what happens next, read "Caffenaited," which is slightly ahead of this story. Review that one to! (I'm a review junkie!)-Quinnie

Yes, review, like she said. And, thanks to her for the line "bringing him back down to Atlantis." I like that. Very funny. And now she's pacing back and forth like a three legged horse or something of the like, muttering about reviews. How strange...Aiylithe


	3. Utensils

Never again, Sheppard vowed, never again would he meddle in the affairs of McKay. Now when he heard things that went bump in the night, he would stick his head out the door and very politely tell them to go bother the Wraith.

He shuffled down the corridor in a stupor. Less than two hours of sleep and now he could barely function. He sleep-walked past the infirmary, just in time to hear McKay wake up. At least someone got enough sleep, Sheppard thought sourly. He paused outside the door in the hopes of hearing Teyla read him the Athosian version of a riot act. He was surprised and disappointed to hear her being kind and gracious. Sheppard sunk further into his bad mood. Just this once, couldn't she be a little less diplomatic? He brightened slightly when he heard her voice grow irritated. McKay did not know when to shut up. Time to come to the rescue once again, he supposed. What had he just been thinking, about not meddling?

"Morning Teyla," Sheppard said cheerfully, "Feeling better?" Teyla smiled tightly. "I'll just take McKay here..." Sheppard trailed off muttering some vague excuse, dragging the scientist with him. McKay didn't even notice as Sheppard propelled him through Atlantis and placed food in his hands. Instead he turned to Sheppard, prattling on about Teyla being mad at him. Even as Sheppard's eyes drooped shut something clunked into place within his sleep-deprived mind. "Do you like her?" he asked, too tired to be subtle.

McKay's mouth dropped open, revealing an unattractive mash of half-chewed food.

"You do, don't you?" Sheppard asked, stifiling another yawn. "Well you should ask her out, but I don't know if Weir would be cool with it..."

"Is that why you haven't asked her out?" McKay asked in an obvious and desperate attempt to change the subject.

"Who?" asked Sheppard, pretending he didn't already who McKay was going to name.

"Weir," said McKay, grinning evilly.

As if conjured by the sound of her name, their leader appeared in the door of the room where Sheppard and McKay were eating. At the sight of her face, Sheppard lost control of his limbs. His spoon dropped from his suddenly limp fingers. He prayed she wasn't looking for him. Their fight, followed so quickly by McKay's too brilliant deduction had put him on edge. He would babble like an idiot. Weir scanned the room. Please, please make her be here for some other reason. Not finding what she sought, Weir disappeared from the doorway. Sheppard breathed a sigh of relief. Then he caught the look on McKay's face. Crap.

"Don't like her, eh?"

"Of course not," Sheppard lied coolly. "She's way too uptight for me." He watched McKay's face anxiously. Rodney wasn't so easily persuaded.

"So why were you hiding from her?"

There was a reason Sheppard wasn't a diplomat. He prided himself on being somewhat honest. Often too honest. So even he was surprised when the story of the fight rolled off his tongue easily. McKay bought it, and Sheppard turned the tables on him at the first possible opportunity.

"So, what are you going to do about Teyla?" McKay looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"If you tell anyone I'll stab you with my fork," he hissed.

Sheppard tried desperately not to laugh.

(AuthorNote! Yes, we are horribleee awful about updating, but this is all on Aiy's computer, and I'm the only one who works on it now... My so-called "fellow authors" never want to work on it. Aiy says it's b/c she's always doing something else. At the moment she's making pink muffins. I kid you not, they were supposed to be pink cookies, but she didn't use anything remotely resembling a recipe.-Q)


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